April, Photography and art for you to smile at :)



  Good evening, everyone! :)  What a beautiful day here in Western Kentucky, a few puffy white clouds out there, but mostly bright blue sky and sunshine! :)  It has been a nice day, I went out to eat with mother and grandmother at a Mexican Restaurant.  Had a steak :) Maybe I can gain a pound or so! :)  That would at least make my grandmother happy. :)


  Soooo, I went on a picture spree, I do that sometimes when I get stressed or just feel creative.  So here they are, I hope they bring a smile to your face when you see them! :)  I know they made me smile and Cheetah was such a good model today! :)

  I love America, I am an American, my heart will always be split between Canada my safe home and my homeland.  But make no mistake about it = I love this country and everything that it stands for.  Cheetah was the Patriot today! :)  Showing her colors! :)

Patriot Cheetah

  As a teenager, and into my 20s, I always had a favorite place that I visited in Fort Massac Park.  I went there when I needed to find peace, when I needed to think, when I needed to reflect.  This is that spot, it is located on the Ohio River.  I came across it one day while out walking around.  It is the most peaceful place, you can watch the sun setting in the west, you can watch the Ohio River passing you by, on its way to new journeys.

My place of peace, how many times I came here just to sit and wonder,
ponder, and dream dreams!

Cheetah surrounded by Pixie Eggs

  By the way, Cheetah had some sinus problems after this shoot, she wasn't very happy about that! :) But she got over it!

   and finally

Beautiful Sadness

  Out of the rocky terrain, amongst all the rocks, all the obstacles, everything put in his way, he managed to push through, find a way, found his way and grew into a beautiful flower, standing tall, standing proud, amongst all the weeds, the rocks, the thorns, he shown with all his glory - proving that good things can come from the least expected places!


  Today was the first day I went out shopping for the new house.  I put into lay away the first things for my media room.  The war room.  A television set and the stand that will hold it on the wall.  This will be hooked up to a computer and will constantly monitor radar, satellite, or whatever else I want to monitor.  :)  I am so excited about the media room, it is certainly a weather weenies dream, but also going to be a big part of the Shadow Angel projects.  :)

  I predicted tornadoes today in Minnesota and so far there have been eight tornadoes, some of them doing major damage.  Bad day up there.




  Tyler is having minor surgery today, he will be fine. :) Keep him in your prayers! :)  Little angels watching over him.


Monday, April19, 2000

  Early morning here in Paducah.  Looks kind of cloudy.  I believe we will start seeing several days of rain and thunderstorms.  Maybe some severe weather as well as heavy rain.  The ground is dry, so rain is much needed.  I like to watch it rain so that is fine with me! :)

  Otherwise just misc. projects today.  I have to program my new cell phone.  John keeps getting onto me about that.  At least I went to the eye Doctor so he can stop bugging me on that issue! :)

  Paul is away for a few days, he had to go and think about everything.  It is all so overwhelming for him.   He said he would call today though, I hope he does.

  Ty is having minor surgery this morning.  I will update the page on that later.   Tyler is my younger nephew,

  He is in good hands.

  OK, that is it for now, that is all the news I am allowed to report. :)  There is always something new going on that I am not allowed to post on but most of you know what those things are.  Mainly dealing with one of my close friends being sick with cancer. 

  Tomorrow I have to leave here and go to the Marriott Hotel.  :(  I am not really looking forward to that.  It will be kind of depressing I guess.  But it is the best we can do because of everything that is going on.  The quilt show is downtown - so the Fox Briar rented my apartment out (a long time ago before I came).  Hope Paul makes it back to help me move my things.  :)

  Then I can come back here after the quilt show.





  I have to move out of the Fox Briar tomorrow, because of the Quilt Show - they are booked full here.  I will be staying at the Marriott for a few days.  Fun Fun.  Looks like a stormy weekend ahead.


Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

In the news again


  A SUICIDE bomb plot to kill thousands of soccer fans at Saturday’s Manchester United-Liverpool match was dramatically foiled yesterday.

  Armed cops seized ten terror suspects in dawn raids.

  Intelligence chiefs believe al-Qaeda fanatics planned to blow themselves up amid 67,000 unsuspecting supporters. A source said: “The target was Old Trafford.”

  The Islamic fanatics planned to sit all around the ground to cause maximum carnage.

  They had already bought the tickets for various positions in the stadium, cops revealed last night.

  But armed cops foiled the horrific plot - which could have killed thousands watching Manchester United’s home game against Liverpool on Saturday - in a series of dawn raids yesterday.

  Just posting these things because it shows what is really going on right now.  AQ is desperate and they have some spectacular attacks planned.  We keep catching them RIGHT before they happen.  Let's hope that this continues.


  Anyway enough of that for right now :)

  I have to meet with Cal this afternoon and we are going to work on the plan for the Weather Radio Program.  The radios and antennas have all arrived.  So we should be able to work out all the details this afternoon! :)

  Then I have to move to the Marriott Hotel for a few days.

  Looks like rain around here today and a few thunderstorms. 


I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Song written by - George Weiss and Bob Thiele

I'm glad you made it home safely my friend :)



  Ok I am heading out, packed here, going to the next place I have to stay - the Marriott.  Then I will return here to the Fox Briar :)  Oh follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, many stops along the way but eventually I will make it "home"



  Major tornado outbreak tonight across Central and Northern Illinois and central Indiana.
Early reports indicate more than
FIFTY-ONE tornadoes touched down.  Major damage in a number of towns, with buildings collapsed and houses destroyed.  At least four people were killed, many injured and trapped in buildings.  Towns that I know were hit

  These are a few of the towns and cities hit by the tornadoes.  There is major damage in many areas.  Details are still sketchy and still coming in.

  The next four days are going to be stormy in the Missouri and Ohio Valley.  Severe weather could be a daily threat.

  Tonights outbreak was not forecast well, much more intense than expected.

  Granville Tornado Photo

Multi-Vortex Tornado Rips through Central, IL
Unknown photographer.

Jamestown, Indiana Damagetornado

LaSalle county tornado - unknown photographer

LaSalle-Peru area before it hit the town
of Utica - not sure who the photographer
was for this photo.


This is what the tornadic cell looked like on radar as it was hitting the area

  As I have been saying for several days, this week would be active.  This is just the beginning of several days of severe weather.


Wednesday, April 21, 2004

  Severe weather possible today across the tri-state area.  I will monitor how bad it will be.  Thursday also looks like it could be severe.  Just have to keep an eye on things.  Yesterday was a very rough day north of this area.  I don't believe today will be as bad.  But certainly there will be some severe weather through the Ohio Valley and Midwest.

  Heavy rainfall from time to time will also be a problem.

  I met with Cal yesterday and the NOAA Weather Radio Shadow Angel Program seems to be coming together nicely.  We still have  some work to do, but we will get there.  Cal informed me that him and Lou both have also been asked to speak at the May 6th conference in Massac County.  :)  so VERY KEWL!!!!



  There will be showers and thunderstorms developing this area across the area, some could be strong and possibly severe.  Thursday there could be a significant outbreak of severe thunderstorm and tornadoes.  Greatest threat will be Northeast Arkansas to West Kentucky and West Tennessee.  Several strong tornadoes are possible tomorrow.  Very heavy rainfall is also possible.

6 p.m.

  Strong thunderstorms are rapidly developing across Southern Illinois.

  There could be watches and warnings issued shortly, the storms are centered around the Marion, Illinois area, other storms continue to develop across Southeast Missouri


7:45 p.m.

  Warnings are starting to be issued now, for Missouri and flood warnings for Illinois, heavy storms should continue through the night across the area.

  Tomorrow is the real threat though for a severe weather outbreak, esp across West Kentucky, Southern Missouri, Tennessee, and Arkansas.


Thursday, March 22, 2004

  Morning everyone.  Stormy day yesterday for parts of Southern Illinois and Southeast Missouri.  Very heavy rainfall and some hail, several counties were under warnings.

  More concerned about the risk for severe weather this afternoon and evening.  There is the potential for tornadoes across the area later today, just something we have to keep an eye on. :)

  Spent yesterday doing some personal things with a friend of mine, who needed some help.

  My friend John is on his way to Cincinnati to watch a baseball game this morning, hopefully it won't rain on him. :)

  Hmmm, I am keeping busy with the Weather Radio program for Channel Six among other little projects. :)  I am in a good mood, there are ups and downs, but more ups right now than down.

  Paul is away for awhile, doing some thinking about what he wants to do.  So I am kind of sad about that I guess.  I miss him being around.  Hopefully everything will work out.

  Grandmother is doing pretty good, although she is pretty confused.  Her new medicine is doing this to her.  I don't know if it will get better or worse.  I see her about every single day.  So that is good for both of us.  I care so much about her. 

  Norman says that his eye is getting better! :) so YAY on that, keep Praying for Norman, he needs to be able to see :) like all of us!

  So in a nutshell, I am doing ok.  Staying busy, trying to keep my mind on other things, other than the immediate bad things that are going on.  :)  Life is moving along and hopefully soon we will have me a house.  These things take time!  As we all know.  But we are moving forward!


Very dark here at 10 a.m.  Storms are moving into Paducah, looks like heavy rain and lightning with this one.

Storm clouds rolling into Paducah at 10 a.m.

Radar of the storm about to hit Paducah

Storm is almost here, lightning and thunder now - and rain is starting

  So the storms moved through pretty fast, heavy rain for a bit and some lightning.  Could be more later this evening and tonight.

  I have a new friend, FRAGGLE! :)  Cheetah has a new friend I think.  A friend gave me a nice bunny rabbit I will have to get a pic of him later. :)

Here is Fraggle



Shadow Angel Projects - Head Start in Joppa

 I called Head Start today to check on how everything was going over there and they are having a parents appreciation night next week.  The problem is that the local businesses are not donating much this year.  The STUPID riverboat told them that their taxes went up so they couldn't give anything.  GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK, they make hundreds of thousands of dollars per month.

  So anyway they needed some door prizes and stuff like that.  The foundation donated some Hawaiian decorations (because that is the theme of the appreciation dinner)  Also donated four door prizes, a Weather Radio, a camera, a thirteen inch television, and a radio/CD/clock player.  So they were happy to receive those items.  They are way under their budget for the dinner.  To make things even worse the inspectors for the Head Start Program are going to be there that night.  So hopefully some of this stuff will at least make things look a little nicer.  I got a lot of neat decorations from the Party Shop down the road here.

If we took a holiday
Took some time to celebrate
Just one day out of life
It would be, it would be so nice

Everybody spread the word
We're gonna have a celebration
All across the world
In every nation
It's time for the good times
Forget about the bad times, oh yeah
One day to come together
To release the pressure
We need a holiday

You can turn this world around
And bring back all of those happy days
Put your troubles down
It's time to celebrate
Let love shine
And we will find
A way to come together
And make things better
We need a holiday


Friday Morning EARLY A.M. :)

Heavy rain is about to hit us.  LOTS OF HEAVY RAIN

  You can barely make out Paducah in the center of that radar shot, there is going to be a lot of rain tonight.

  This should be our last real round of storms until Sat and Sunday when another shot of severe weather moves into the area.


  Very wet around here today and severe weather looks likely Sat and Sunday.  Some areas in the Four State area here have received over 5 inches of rain, since all of this started.  Flooding is a problem in some locations.  So far Paducah and Metropolis have been spared the worst weather.  Some areas around us though have really been pounded by all the heavy rain.

  Saturday and Sunday look like severe weather days with possible tornadoes across the entire area.  Saturday and Sunday will probably be the strongest threat so far with this storm system.  So a busy weekend ahead for all the severe weather people.

  I am going this morning to look at the Ashcreek house again.  I have to be there at 10 a.m. so I better get going!

- stay safe everyone



  The Shadow Angel Foundation is working with News Channel Six to give away one weather radio per day during the month of May.  The weather radios are programmable so they alert you when your county has a severe weather warning.  Cal told me that he has already made a promo video that should start running this weekend or next week! :)  They will do a nightly drawing and announce the winner on-air during one of the news broadcasts.  Perhaps the 6 p.m. news.  Not sure about that.   So this is an exciting new venture! :)  News Channel Six is a great television station and likes to participate in "making a difference" type of projects.

  So the NOAA Weather Radio Program is a GO!  It will start soon! :)

  Also I have been asked to speak at a conference on the night of May 6th, the anniversary night of the tornado that hit Massac County, Illinois.  I will be speaking along with Cal and several others.  It should be a great night for the public to ask questions and make comments about how the process worked or didn't work.

  I am looking forward to talking about the book and the teddy bears!  Among other projects that we helped with.  I owe a big thanks to the Metropolis Planet for all of their hard work on the "Terror in the Night" book.  Some dedicated workers put in a lot of hours.


NATIONAL HERO - NFL Cardinal Pat Tillman Killed while defending freedom

Pat Tillman

  As a youth, he high-dived from bridges and cliffs. At Arizona State, he hopped the fence at Sun Devil Stadium and climbed a light tower. Before reporting for training camp with the Arizona Cardinals two years ago, he competed in a 70-mile triathlon.

  "He's like Forrest Gump. He tries everything," says Frank Sanders, his former teammate.

  So no one should have been surprised last spring when Tillman, entering his fourth NFL season, shucked it all and joined his brother, Kevin, in setting out to become an Army Ranger. What's a three-year, $3.6 million pro football contract when you can collect $18,000 a year from Uncle Sam?

  Pat Tillman gave up the glamour of the NFL to
serve his country.

  "Pat has very deep and true convictions," Cardinals coach Dave McGinnis said at the time. "He's a deep thinker, and believe me, this was something he thought out."

  Tillman made no public statement. He wasn't in this for the publicity. But you didn't need to dig too deeply to find an explanation for his actions. Friends said that the 9/11 terrorist attacks had affected him deeply. Cardinals defensive coordinator Larry Marmie, after a conversation with his former player, said Tillman felt he needed to
"pay something back" for the comfortable life he had been afforded.


White House Statement

  The White House is calling US Ranger Pat Tillman 'an inspiration both on and off the football field.'

  Tillman walked away from a lucrative NFL pro football career to join the US Army.

  Yesterday the former Arizona Cardinals player was killed while serving in Afghanistan.

  A statement from the White House says Tillman's family -as with all who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the war on terror- 'is in the thoughts and prayers of President Bush and the First Lady.'

  Senator John McCain of Arizona said, 'He viewed his decision as no more patriotic than of his countrymen who loved our country enough to volunteer to defend her in a time of peril.'

Saturday, April 24th

  Spending the day watching the severe weather develop and working on getting a house :)

  So staying busy, otherwise that is about it.

  Looks like severe weather later this evening and tonight across the whole area.




The price of warthe reality of warthe images of war

Unknown photographers on above photos.

  God Bless those who fight for our freedom and the freedom of others.


  Severe weather breaking out across the region.  There are tornado warnings to our west.  Tornadoes have been reported with damage.  Tornado watch now for my area.  There should be a lot of severe weather tonight.

Tornadoesin Southeast Missouri

Six people injured, in Southeast Missouri, from one tornado this evening.


Storms as they hit our area - no warnings for
us right now



Who am I

What makes me me

How did I come to this point in my life

On May 6th 2000 I was arrested for drugs in Alabama, after slipping into the deepest depression of my life.  It took years for me to even start to get my life back on track.  The late '90s and into 2000 were the darkest years of my life.  I don't know how I survived.  I don't know why I am still here.  What force kept me alive.  It wasn't by my doingsthat I know.

On May 6th 2003 an F4 tornado hit my community

On May 6th 2004 I will be speaking at a public community meeting in Massac County, alongside government officials, community leaders, and other.

What makes that happen

God?  Something bigger than me?  Fate? 

I look back at the past few years, the extreme amount of pain that I went through.
How Doug, Norman, and David, Erick and others have been there for me.  Watching me cry. watching me fall apart at times. Listening to my story.

Me watching them cry, hugging me, telling me it will be ok. 

Me trying to figure out what is wrong with me.  Where does this depression come from.  What makes all of this happen in my mind.  What makes me have these feelings.  How do I stop it.  How do I make it go away.  Is it my fault.  Is it things that happened to me when I was younger?  Can I change?

I remember the day I told David, I don't want to go to jail and David saying I won't let that happen.
I said "don't make promises you can't keep"

He kept his promiseGod intervened

and here we are

Who have I become, what I have become, have I become what I have always been a Shadow Angel?

Have I evolved into what I am today because of the pain and hurt that I went through over the past 21 years?

Have I evolved because I somehow was strong enough to make it through the fireon my own most of the time?  Taking care of Rick, taking care of me
Leaving the world behind, to survive at all costs.

Someone said today I have a fairy tale life, that may be true in some sense, maybe some things have been given to me but they have no idea of the story that led up to this day, to this time in history, to what I have become, to what I am trying to become. 

They don't know of all the nights I whispered prayers to my family
They don't know all the nights that I held Cheetah and said One day a prince charming will along and save us
They don't know all the nights I looked at the moon and wondered if my mother was looking at the moon and thinking about me
They don't know all the nights I said goodnight out loud to Dione, Deena, Mother, Daddy, Grandmother, and others hundreds of miles away - not knowing where was

They don't know where these shoes have walked
They can never understand what I went through
Where this mind has been

One of my sisters is mad at me, she can't understand my addictions.  She can't understand how I can still be addicted to something that causes so much harm.
See she doesn't get it, she doesn't understand the pain, she doesn't understand how hard it is to overcome an addiction.  I don't even understand it.  I wish I did.  I wish I could somehow wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

God help those who find themselves in my shoes, with addiction, waking up in the morning craving something to escape


I am me

I am the person who goes out and buys a Superman art work showing Superman flying with a flag, right after 9/11

I am the person who has Cheetah pose in the dandelions, smiling for the camera, so everyone else can smile at the photo

I am me - nothing else, nothing more

The good. the bad, the in between.  I can be nothing elsefor no one else.

I can only do what I think is right for me.

See everyone else always comes first for me, because I care, because I see the world through these eyes of mine, a world that hurts, a world that feels pain, pain that I can relate to, pain that I know they can escape from.

It isn't easy, it never is easy to overcome things that haunt you from our past.

All you can do is try, all you can do is be yourself, and be true to yourself

Everyone else matters, but in the end it is you that has to make the right choices

In the end, it is you that says dammit I am going to change, I am going to do the right thing, I am going to find that path that is the best path for me and those around me.

Dorothy in Wizard of Oz, sometimes she went off that path, sometimes she picked the apples along the way, and got smacked for doing it, sometimes she lost Toto, but she FOUGHT and she FOUGHT and she FOUGHT to get Toto back.

She fought to find her way home, where she could be true to herself, where she could find peace with her family, where she could say she was sorry for the way she acted and she was forgiven, forgiven, and forgiven

They were just happy that she was ok that she survived the tornado, that she lived another day to tell her story

Every survivor has a story.

I have a story, it is of pain, it is of anger, it is of forgiveness, it is of starting over

It is a story that continues to evolve, it will always evolve, how will it end?  Where do we go from here, what is next?

I wish I knew.  I only know that I follow my spirit and I try to listen to my spirit

I have been blessed by David.  I have been blessed by Doug.  I have been blessed by Norman.  I have been blessed by many people

What I have been given, must be shared, it must be given back, it is the right thing to do

and I will do the right thing

I will be true to myself

and that is all I can do - and that is all that matters



  Ben Stein has written the following and I could not have written it any better or agree any more to what he has to say.  This is long but I encourage everyone to read it and think about his words - a true class act

How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

 |Ben Stein Wrote

Posted on 04/24/2004 3:53:59 PM PDT by xzins

How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World?

As I begin to write this, I "slug" it, as we writers say, which means I put a heading on top of the document to identify it. This heading is "eonlineFINAL," and it gives me a shiver to write it. I have been doing this column for so long that I cannot even recall when I started.

I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end. Lew Harris, who founded this great site, asked me to do it maybe seven or eight years ago, and I loved writing this column so much for so long I came to believe it would never end.

But again, all things must pass, and my column for E! Online must pass. In a way, it is actually the perfect time for it to pass. Lew, whom I have known forever, was impressed that I knew so many stars at Morton's on Monday nights.

He could not get over it, in fact. So, he said I should write a column about the stars I saw at Morton's and what they had to say.

It worked well for a long time, but gradually, my changing as a person and the world's change have overtaken it. On a small scale, Morton's, while better than ever, no longer attracts as many stars as it used to. It still brings in the rich people in droves and definitely some stars.

I saw Samuel L. Jackson there a few days ago, and we had a nice visit, and right before that, I saw and had a splendid talk with Warren Beatty in an elevator, in which we agreed that Splendor in the Grass was a super movie.

But Morton's is not the star galaxy it once was, though it probably will be again.

Beyond that, a bigger change has happened. I no longer think Hollywood stars are terribly important. They are uniformly pleasant, friendly people, and they treat me better than I deserve to be treated. But a man or woman who makes a huge wage for memorizing lines and reciting them in front of a camera is no longer my idea of a shining star we should all look up to.

A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. How can a man or woman who makes an eight-figure wage and lives in insane luxury really be a star in today's world, if by a "star" we mean someone bright and powerful and attractive as a role model?

Real stars are not riding around in the backs of limousines or in Porsches or getting trained in yoga or Pilates and eating only raw fruit while they have Vietnamese girls do their nails. They can be interesting, nice people, but they are not heroes to me any longer.

A real star is the soldier of the 4th Infantry Division who poked his head into a hole on a farm near Tikrit, Iraq. He could have been met by a bomb or a hail of AK-47 bullets. Instead, he faced an abject Saddam Hussein and the gratitude of all of the decent people of the world.

A real star is the U.S. soldier who was sent to disarm a bomb next to a road north of Baghdad. He approached it, and the bomb went off and killed him.

A real star, the kind who haunts my memory night and day, is the U.S. soldier in Baghdad who saw a little girl playing with a piece of unexploded ordnance on a street near where he was guarding a station. He pushed her aside and threw himself on it just as it exploded. He left a family desolate in California and a little girl alive in Baghdad.

I no longer want to perpetuate poor values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject. The stars who deserve media attention are not the ones who have lavish weddings on TV but the ones who patrol the streets of Mosul even after two of their buddies were murdered and their bodies battered and stripped for the sin of trying to protect Iraqis from terrorists.

We put couples with incomes of $100 million a year on the covers of our magazines. The noncoms and officers who barely scrape by on military pay but stand on guard in Afghanistan and Iraq and on ships and in submarines and near the Arctic Circle are anonymous as they live and die.

I am no longer comfortable being a part of the system that has such poor values, and I do not want to perpetuate those values by pretending that who is eating at Morton's is a big subject.

There are plenty of other stars in the American firmament. The policemen and women who go off on patrol in South Central and have no idea if they will return alive. The orderlies and paramedics who bring in people who have been in terrible accidents and prepare them for surgery. The teachers and nurses who throw their whole spirits into caring for autistic children. The kind men and women who work in hospices and in cancer wards.

Think of each and every fireman who was running up the stairs at the World Trade Center as the towers began to collapse.

Now you have my idea of a real hero.

Last column, I told you a few of the rules I had learned to keep my sanity. Well, here is a final one to help you keep your sanity and keep you in the running for stardom: We are puny, insignificant creatures.

We are not responsible for the operation of the universe, and what happens to us is not terribly important. God is real, not a fiction, and when we turn over our lives to Him, he takes far better care of us than we could ever do for ourselves.

In a word, we make ourselves sane when we fire ourselves as the directors of the movie of our lives and turn the power over to Him.

I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters. This is my highest and best use as a human. I can put it another way. Years ago, I realized I could never be as great an actor as Olivier or as good a comic as Steve Martin--or Martin Mull or Fred Willard--or as good an economist as Samuelson or Friedman or as good a writer as Fitzgerald. Or even remotely close to any of them.

But I could be a devoted father to my son, husband to my wife and, above all, a good son to the parents who had done so much for me. This came to be my main task in life.

I did it moderately well with my son, pretty well with my wife and well indeed with my parents (with my sister's help). I cared for and paid attention to them in their declining years. I stayed with my father as he got sick, went into extremis and then into a coma and then entered immortality with my sister and me reading him the Psalms.

This was the only point at which my life touched the lives of the soldiers in Iraq or the firefighters in New York. I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty, in return for the lavish life God has devolved upon me, to help others He has placed in my path. This is my highest and best use as a human.

As so many of you know, I am an avid Bush fan and a Republican. But I think the best guidance I ever got was from the inauguration speech of Democrat John F. Kennedy in January of 1961.

On a very cold and bright day in D.C., he said, "With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forthasking His blessing and His help but knowing that here on Earth, God's work must surely be our own."

And then to paraphrase my favorite president, my boss and friend Richard Nixon, when he left the White House in August 1974, with me standing a few feet away, "This is not goodbye. The French have a word for it--au revoir. We'll see you again."

Au revoir, and thank you for reading me for so long. God bless every one of you. We'll see you again.

Written by Ben Stein 2004


  You know my heroes are those people who risk their lives everyday for all of us, the fireman, the policemen, those who work in areas of the world where relief is needed but bullets are flying.

  People who work for the Red Cross, handing out sandwiches to victims after a tornado.

  My heroes are the mothers and fathers out there trying to raise their children in a world full of land mines, trouble around every cornerthose are the real heroes.

  The school teachers, who day in and day out, spend their time trying to teach, trying to depart something to a young mind.  Some kids who don't even want to be there, but the teachers keep pressing ahead.  Overworked and underpaid.

  The people who patiently work with the children in Head Start.  Those children that might come from homes that are broken or dysfunctional.  Beautiful children, wanting to learn, but never really given the opportunity outside of those centers.

  There are many heroes in today's world.  They are all around us, but yet they are forgotten.  They are taken for granted.

  We celebrate the "superstars" of music and sports, the "superstars" that barely have any values at all.

  I wonder if we as a nation will ever wake up and see the truth.  Maybe we hide behind the superstars for a reason.  Maybe we somehow admire them because they have supposedly "made it".  I don't know.  I don't pretend to understand.

  All I know is that each of us are or could be heroes to the people around us.  Not perfect, not Superman, nor Wonder Woman, but simple humans who do amazing feats.  By bringing a smile to someone else's face.  Making someone laugh, making someone stop to smell the roses.  Those my folks are the real heroes in this day and age.

  We see much violence on television.  I keep telling my sister that we must teach them a better way.  We must teach them a different way.  We must teach them to love. 

  Are we being a hero to someone? 



Sunday, April 25th, 2004

  I am still working on the house situation! :)  Hope to know something soon.   Not sure how this plays out.  But we shall see what is going on soon enough!

  Cloudy out today but the severe weather is over, for awhile at least.  Lot of tornadoes and wind damage in Missouri, several tornadoes, several people injured.  Typical severe weather outbreak for this area.

  The week looks nice though :)  So that is good news!

  Hope everyone is well!


Little Birdie - Annie Lennox

I look up to the little bird
That glides across the sky
He sings the clearest melody
It makes me want to cry
It makes me want to sit right down
and cry cry cry, yeah.

I walk along the city streets
So dark with rage and fear
And I
I wish that I could be that bird
And fly away from here

I wish I had the wings to fly away from here, yeah.
But Mamma I feel so low
Mamma where do I go?
Mamma what do I know?
Mamma we reap what we sow

They always said that you knew best
But this little bird's fallen out of that nest now
I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I've just got to put these wings to test

For I am just a troubled soul
Who's weighted
Weighted to the ground

Give me the strength to carry on
Till I can lay this burden down

Give me the strength to lay this burden down
down down yea

Give me the strength to lay it down
Lay it down, Lay it down.
But Mamma I feel so low
Mamma where do I go?
Mamma what do I know?
Mamma we reap what we sow.

They always said that you knew best
But this little bird's fallen out of that nest now
I've got a feeling that it might have been blessed
So I've just got to put these wings to test

Annie Lennox

One of my favorite songs.


Monday, April 26th

  Jordan has foiled a chemical attack, linked to al Qaeda, involving trucks loaded with 20 tons of explosives that could have killed 80,000 people, according to the country's security officials.

  Members of the terrorist network were arrested and others killed, officials said on state television.

  Pictures were broadcast, claiming to show the chemicals the terrorists were planning to make explosives with, as well as trucks which were going to be used in a suicide attack against the General Intelligence Department.

  Gee I wonder where they got the WMD at?


  So anyway ENOUGH politics and crap, let's get down to happier things that are going on! :)

  Received a BEAUTIFUL Kennedy Half Dollar in the mail today, from my friend David. :)  Made me smile. :)  Thank you very much!  


The first Shadow Angel Check!  They have Angels on them/ :)  I am meeting
with Joe Craft, my accountant, soon to get the Foundation set up.  Then we will
have a tax number :) YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

  We are moving


Skyler Delang, 3, of Lancaster, N.Y., salutes as the 105th
Military Police Company arrives at the Niagara Falls Air
Base in Niagara Falls, N.Y., on Saturday after returning
from Iraq. Delang was brought to the ceremony by his
grandfather, a retired air base official.

  God bless our soldiers and all the other soldiers around the world fighting to bring an end
to the terrorism threat.  We can not afford to lose this war. 


ABC World News Now. April 27, 2004

  In an interview broadcast by ABC's World News Now, the leader of the Al Qaeda cell organizing the explosive and chemical attack on the Jordanian security headquarters and the American Embassy in Jordan stated that he received his training from Al-Zawahiri in Iraq, prior to the fall of Afghanistan.

Tuesday, April 27th

  Terrorist attacking many targets in Syria.  Reports of 15 explosions.  Canadian Embassy, British Embassy, and several other areas.  Firefights in the streets right now against the terrorists.  UN Building on firenot sure of damage to the different Embassies
130 p.m.

  Grandmother and I are going to a dinner at Head Start tonight.  It is a parent/family appreciation night with an Hawaiian theme.  I am sure we will have a good time.




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